Those are the three words Runner Boy used to describe me when I walked in the door after this morning's long run. It was an eventful run, to say the least.
Running Partner picked today's route and it sounded great in the abstract. We were to run from her house in Towson straight down to Baltimore's renowned Inner Harbor, turn around, (with the requisite stop at Mr. Running Partner's office for some amazingly delicious water-cooler water) and come home again. All good in theory, as long as you ignore the part where Towson essentially sits at the top of a huge hill and the harbor is at the bottom. That makes for a nice first half of the run but those last eight miles of nonstop uphill were nothing less than brutal.
There was also another little GI issue. Here we go, this is part where I start talking poop again
and my mother nearly has a lack-of-propriety heart attack. RP and I were only about four miles into the run and I realized we were running right through a college campus. With some fear of jinxing myself and causing an event so traumatic RP and I might never recover, I asked "Hey, do you know where there might be a bathroom here?" She said we were among dorms and probably couldn't get in to any of the buildings. Then she graciously added "I totally don't mind if you want to go just cop a squat in those bushes over there. Seriously, I wouldn't even think twice about it." Well that's very nice and all but I had to do more than pee and when I told her so she replied with understandable resignation "O-oh." This led to an undoubtedly riveting discussion of various Starbucks locations and our course map. A discussion in which we were both so engrossed my attention was only diverted by an all-too familiar smell. I did a double sniff and announced with intense glee "There's a public restroom around here somewhere!" And so, as if delivered by the hand of God, there it stood: a porta potty! Ta da! After making sure RP would still respect me in the morning I bounded off to commune with construction workers' altar.
Running Partner picked today's route and it sounded great in the abstract. We were to run from her house in Towson straight down to Baltimore's renowned Inner Harbor, turn around, (with the requisite stop at Mr. Running Partner's office for some amazingly delicious water-cooler water) and come home again. All good in theory, as long as you ignore the part where Towson essentially sits at the top of a huge hill and the harbor is at the bottom. That makes for a nice first half of the run but those last eight miles of nonstop uphill were nothing less than brutal.
There was also another little GI issue. Here we go, this is part where I start talking poop again
and my mother nearly has a lack-of-propriety heart attack. RP and I were only about four miles into the run and I realized we were running right through a college campus. With some fear of jinxing myself and causing an event so traumatic RP and I might never recover, I asked "Hey, do you know where there might be a bathroom here?" She said we were among dorms and probably couldn't get in to any of the buildings. Then she graciously added "I totally don't mind if you want to go just cop a squat in those bushes over there. Seriously, I wouldn't even think twice about it." Well that's very nice and all but I had to do more than pee and when I told her so she replied with understandable resignation "O-oh." This led to an undoubtedly riveting discussion of various Starbucks locations and our course map. A discussion in which we were both so engrossed my attention was only diverted by an all-too familiar smell. I did a double sniff and announced with intense glee "There's a public restroom around here somewhere!" And so, as if delivered by the hand of God, there it stood: a porta potty! Ta da! After making sure RP would still respect me in the morning I bounded off to commune with construction workers' altar. 
Everything went smoothly from that point on until about two miles into the return trip when my
left foot spontaneously flew out of my shoe causing me to go tumbling and sliding across hot cement. That was fun. How the heck my shoe came off, I have no idea. It was still tied and everything. I mean, for real, has that ever happened to anyone else? After dusting off my wounded pride I put my shoe back on and tied it extra (read "too") tight. (Not a good idea as any experienced runner can attest.)Things returned to smooth sailing--until the second fall. That's right, spaz attack here actually fell two times on today's run! I don't even want to talk about the second one. It occurred, it happened, it's over. I want my wubby, goddammit!!!! (She exclaims while rocking like a Russian orphan and maniacally twirling her hair.)
So, the good news: we ran, without stopping, except for my various issues and the most wonderful water in the world, for 16 miles and we maintained a 10:02 min/mile pace the entire way. Basically, we rock.
Hey, I just realized this post is a long as my run was!! :p
Today's Miles: 16
Total Miles: 284
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